By Erin Conaway, Associate Pastor, South Main Baptist Church
There seem to be these tiny pockets of grace that jump out at us and sometimes we are fortunate enough to catch them and other times we sail right by without even blinking. It was at the end of a long day; Carmen was at a choir rehearsal so I was on daddy duty. We ate dinner and had the usual dinner struggles, played games and laughed and cried, read books and bargained for just one more, changed into jammies and brushed teeth and used the potty and it was finally time to turn off the lights and go to bed. I was spent and not in any position to negotiate through any more questions or requests. Sam was stalling like professional sports agent. I finally kissed him goodnight, told him I loved him and walked to the door. He said in a voice that I knew instantly was sincere, “Dadda, please come lay with me in the dark…I’m scared.” I turned off the light and lay down next to him. He’s had a few dark issues lately and we’ve talked about how he’s brave and strong and how his stuffed animals will help keep him safe and most importantly, how God is always with him. He anticipated what I was going to tell him and asked, “Is God here?”
“Yes, buddy, God is here.”
“How tall is God?”
“Well, God is taller than anything you can imagine—even taller than the stars.”
“No way—if God was that tall he’d tear up our roof.”
I laughed—so in love with the combination of his little mind at work and his sensitive spirit. “Good point…God has a way of being with us without breaking our houses all apart.”
“How old is God?”
“God is as old as anything there is—even older than dinosaurs—God was around before all of that because God is the one who made it all.”
“I sure wish we could see God?”
“Me too…and we can—when we do things the way God would do, sometimes we see God in each other—like when we are kind to other people and love other people. And sometimes we see God in the beautiful things around us—like beautiful flowers and sparkling stars—because God made all that and in the same way I can tell when you’ve colored a picture—we can tell that God is here because we see the wonderful things God made.” Doh! I went too far and lost him…I thought…because he asked me about taking the manna bags to the homeless on Sunday.
Then he said, “Do the homeless get to play in the snow when it snows?”
“Yes, but they also have to sleep in it, which is very cold and no fun at all—snow is mostly fun when you have a warm place to go.”
He was quiet for a minute and I know enough not to mess with his contemplation or try to rush him in these sacred moments. He held up his little puppy and was doing something with him, but I couldn’t tell what it was in the dark. I asked, “Sam, what’s puppy doing?”
“He’s trying to look in his heart so he can see God.”
“Good for puppy…in his heart is the best place to look—yours too.”
Sam made it to sleep that night without any further assistance on my part. I almost missed it…almost just turned the light out, told him he’d be fine and closed the door. I am confident I have missed more of those wonder-filled moments than I have taken in, but what a blessed gift they are. I heard a song on the radio by Lady Antebellum that echoes a similar sentiment and want to share the lyrics with you:
Traffic crawls, cell phone calls, talk radio screams at me
Through my tinted window
I see
A little girl, rust red minivan
She’s got chocolate on her face, got little hands,
And she waves at me,
Yeah she smiles at me.
Well hello world…
How you been?
Good to see you my old friend
Sometimes I feel, cold as steel broken like I’m never gonna heal
I see a light, a little hope in a little girl,
Well hello world…
Everyday I drive by a little white church,
Its got these little white crosses like angels in the yard
Maybe I should stop on in, say a prayer
Maybe talk to God like He is there
Oh I know he’s there, yeah I know he’s there
Well hello world…
How you been?
Good to see you my old friend,
Sometimes I feel as cold as steel and broken like I’m never gonna heal
I see a light, a little grace, little faith unfurl.
Well hello world…
Sometimes I forget what living’s for,
And I hear my life through my front door,
And I’ll be there,
oh I’m home again
I see my wife, little boy, little girl,
Hello world…
Hello world…all the empty disappears
I remember why I’m here
Just surrender and believe
I fall down on my knees
Oh hello world, hello world, hello world…
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